Overcome Loneliness The Fight For Your Mental Health

There’s a strong difference between alone and loneliness. When I am alone that is I am physically by myself. When I am lonely that is a heavy feeling of discontentment, emptiness, feelings that no one cares etc. I can be alone without feeling lonely, and I can feel lonely even if I am in a room full of people. Loneliness is a destructive state of being and  without proper understanding of the root feelings of that loneliness, we seek relationships, social media, jobs, drugs, money and materials etc. to fill the gnawing voids in our hearts.

We haven’t had the chance to love ourselves first, so we are scavengers in search for others to love us.

That’s why so many of us settle for just any guy or just any girl. We settle for any job or any friendship. We have no self worth or identity because we haven’t taken the time to get to know who we are. We haven’t had the chance to love ourselves first, so we are scavengers in search for others to love us. The ability to put up with a man cheating on you, a woman who disrespects you, a job that mistreats you, friends that don’t support you or any unhealthy situation because we don’t want to be lonely is a disease of the heart. We continue to pursue these relationships or circumstances to suppress the lonely symptom, but that’s all we’re doing is treating the symptom rather than healing the cause, so in the end we are left empty and disappointed.

In some cases that lonely feeling is an indication of self- rejection. We are lonely because we are unhappy with who we are, or we don’t know who we are.

It’s important to develop a strong sense of self by spending time alone, and there are certain seasons that force us to be alone to do just that. We shouldn’t mistake those seasons for loneliness, rejection or stagnation. This is the time where we can be righteously selfish: travel, learn to do things you never could, grow closer to God, read, work on that business etc. So ironically, a way to combat the feeling of loneliness is to spend time alone to initiate self-healing and reflection, doing so helps us to grow self love and learn our unique purpose. We then won’t assume the world rejects us, and we won’t allow our circumstances to mislead us into believing the worse. We will set better standards for ourselves and create the healthy life we ultimately want, need and deserve.

There are severals approaches to healing from loneliness, so don’t take this read as a formula. Moving toward self love however is a great start. If you are suffering from loneliness and having suicidal thoughts please reach out for help. 

You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255