Pros and Cons to consider before starting a long-distance relationship
No one goes out looking for a long-distance relationship it just happens. Because let’s face it, they can suck, but it can also improve intimatcy. Like everything else in life, there are pros and cons within a long distance relationship, and people usually decide early on if they can handle the test of distance. Many would opt out of being in a long distance relationship, but circumstances may arise beyond your control. For instance, your partner’s job or school could relocate. You have to reflect and decide if the relationship is worth it. But don’t let distance deter you, there are both pros and cons to consider when dating someone who’s a couple of miles away from you
The Pros
1. Communicating
Communication is equally if not more important in a long distance relationship. It’s a vital lifeline. Getting to know your partner becomes easier because you have no physical distractions. You listen more intently to the person’s voice. The relationship itself becomes more intimate because you spend time getting to know the reasons for your partner’s beliefs. It is also essential to vocalize your emotions good and bad. You can express how special they are to you and what attracts you to them. This is highly important since we’re used to showing affection through touch.
2. You can focus on yourself
For some people, it can become easy to only focus on their partner; daydreaming, planning the next date or thinking of the last sweet words they said can consume your thoughts. But, it is important to remember that they are not you life, but an addition to it. There must be a healthy balance of thinking about your partner and then thinking of yourself and your life. While in an long distance relationship you are at greater liberty to dive into your projects without the distraction of your partner. Having different schedules can be beneficial because you can focus on yourself. You can plan easier for studying, brainstorming projects, working and then carve out time for talking to your loved one.
3. It gives you a chance to be romantic in creative ways
A long-distance relationship gives you the opportunity to become the most romantic being on earth. Simple everyday gestures that are looked over by couples who aren’t in an long distance relationship can become one of your sweetest memories. For example, if your partner goes out to eat and you wish you could treat them to a lunch date, you could email them a gift card! Or if a holiday is coming up where you can’t share time with them, you can mail them a gift box. You also must think of other methods of expressing your love since you are at a distance besides gifts. Spending extra time on Skype or the phone, planning a spontaneous trip to visit them, texting them while you’re out with friends (in a reasonable matter.) All super simple, but it’s the thought behind it that counts.
4. You cherish all the little things
Once you are in the presence of your significant other every second can feel like an eternity. All those moments you daydreamed of are reality. You can study their facial expressions and mannerisms they make when they’re telling a story and the wrinkles in their smile when you make them laugh. There’s just something different about seeing someone in person versus through a screen. You cherish every minuscule thing you have the opportunity of witnessing; it makes you appreciate the other person more.
The Cons
1. It can be costly
Here are some cons to consider along with the benefits. If you find yourself to be a “gifter,” all the gifts you might send and the trips you take can add up quickly, and you soon might find yourself asking where all your money went. Or you might pick up a bad habit of spoiling your partner to make up for lost time. When in reality they should be appreciating the simple gestures. Budgeting out your finances to include gifts and trips are one way to cut costs.
2. Time-consuming
Time is valuable, we all know this by now. If you aren’t ready to dedicate your time, attention and faithfulness to someone, long distance relationships are not for you. There is a lot of time and planning that go into these relationships sometimes even on a daily basis. Dedicating time out of one’s schedule to make someone feel special is important in a relationship, and some of us just don’t have the time. So just be up front as soon as possible when you realize this.
3. Weaknesses and insecurities
When you’re in a long distance relationship, it can bring light to insecurities about yourself and of the relationship you may not have been aware of. Things like trust and jealousy can take a toll on the other person if you aren’t careful. Depending on your past relationships you can have emotional baggage with you, but it is important to not lash out towards your partner because of your past. We all can become emotional, but you me be able to explain what is bothering you and try to see your partner’s point of view as well. You have to trust in certain circumstances because sometimes that is all you’ll have. Trust, but don’t be naïve. If something doesn’t feel right in your gut, listen.
4. You can only see your significant other ever so often
Not having a daily physical presence with you is the main reason most people opt out of an long distance relationship. It’s difficult not to have your loved one be near when they’re needed the most, and the only love you can receive is from a screen. Humans crave that connection with someone; it’s one of the things we value most out of a relationship. Your patience will be tested to see if you can handle the distance.
What I’ve noticed from successful long-distance relationships is each person has a goal that they’re working towards, as well as a timeframe as to how long they plan to be apart for. There has to be a light to the end of the tunnel, longing for the day to see their partner on an everyday basis. And even if the relationship does fail, it is still a different experience that not many have the opportunity to have. It can show you your strengths and weakness in a way you only learn from your relationships.
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