8 Reasons Why Another Year Has Passed, And You’re Not Where You Want To Be
Setting New Year’s Goals
Another year is over and you’re at the same miserable job or stuck in the same unhealthy relationship, or perhaps you’re still trying to lose the same pounds or your bank account has made no increases. We all have one or two things that may still look the same in a year’s time, but overall if you are hoping for changes in specific areas in your life and have not received the results you were hoping for it is for one or more of 8 reasons:
1. You’re Not Setting Goals
Yeah, you may have said it in your head or told a friend casually, “this year I’m going to get my life together.” Okay what exactly are you getting together and how do you plan on getting said mentioned together? You must have a plan! Studies show that when you write your goals down, you are more likely to accomplish it. I’d recommend creating weekly, short and long-term goals. The long-term goal may be, increase credit score by 50 points by end of the year. The short-term goal might then be pay off credit card debt, so your weekly goal should be put XYZ amount of money each week toward my credit card. And while the example is dealing with finances, weekly, short and long-term goal strategy can be applied to any goals you may have.
2. You’re Not Setting Realistic Goals
Setting goals are the first step. But your goals must be scalable. If you’re not seeing tiny results, it is possible you’re not setting a realistic strategy. Let’s use the same financial goal, increase credit score by 50 points by end of the year. You’ve set a deadline, perfect. The short-term goal as mentioned, would be to pay off credit card debt you’ve accumulated, but if you’re debt is $10,000+ on 2 credit cards, and you’re not making any disposable income to put a hole in the lump sum by a 6 month mark– 50 points by the end of the year may not be realistic. The solution is to insert an additional goal to increase your income. Maybe you’ll start driving Lyft or find a job that pays more or ask your supervisor for that well-deserved raise you’ve been waiting for. The key is to be realistic and use strategy to scale your goals. Because the truth is, results motivate us even if they are small, so if you’re not seeing results and you just give up rather than tweaking your plan, you’ll never get to where you deserve to be.
3. You’re Inconsistent
I’ve struggled with this one bad. Consistency is discipline at work. You can have all the skills, knowledge, talent and go absolutely nowhere because you don’t have the consistency to follow through. Discipline is a practice, you must train your mind to be disciplined. If you say you want to lose weight, but can’t stick to a health regime, you won’t see results. If you set out to grow a business, but you don’t have the discipline to set apart the necessary time to invest in your vision, you won’t see results. For all the points on this list, you must pair it with consistency or it simply won’t work.
4. You Haven’t Broken Addictions
Social media addiction, food addictions, spending addictions, drinking, laziness, negative thinking, the addiction to familiarity, etc. I can go on and on. Addictions come in all shapes and sizes and can be sneaky, so you may not even realize you’re addicted. You should be writing that book, but instead, you’re scrolling through Instagram and Twitter, “you just can’t help it.”Its probably because you’re addicted. You’re trying to save up money to buy a car, but your money is going to buying shoes every other week–you’re addicted to shopping. Addictions are distractions to our goals and purpose. They’re easy to acquire, but hard to break. Seeking professional help is best to assist with breaking addictions. There are underlying causes that a licensed professional can work with you to get to the root cause of why you seek comfort or distraction in your choice of habitual behaviors.
5. You Have No Boundaries
Everyone has access to you, you can go anywhere do anything whenever you choose. Boundaries are best friends with discipline, birthed by morals and values. You must have boundaries in every area of your life. Boundaries set the standards for relationships, work, business and health. Create boundaries with yourself– after 8:00 p.m. I will delete Instagram from my phone, so I am not tempted to scroll through my feed. Create boundaries with others– I can’t accept casual phone calls after 9:00 p.m. because that’s time for myself. I will not go out to the bar with XYZ because I always end up in uncomfortable situations. We can do lunch or go to dinner, but I can’t go out with them. Setting boundaries is a great way to protect your peace, not everything or everyone should have access to you so easily. It demonstrates a lack of self-control and unworthiness. Set boundaries, so you can accomplish what you’re called to do.
6. You Are Not Surrounded By The Right People
Having family and friends that you trust and can hold you accountable is vital. Self-motivation is where it starts, but you cannot do it alone. If you’re around others who have negative mindsets, lack of self-discipline, bad habits, etc. you will find yourself falling into similar patterns. People who truly care about you will support your goals and also hold you accountable when they notice you’re slipping. It won’t be easy all the time to have these type of people in your life, but they’re the ones that truly love you and want to see you succeed don’t let them slip away. Keep the right people in your corner.
7. You’re Afraid of Change
As much as you say you want to save money, finish the book, start the brand, lose the weight, gain the weight, you’re afraid of the sacrifices you must make to get there. Change is scary but necessary to grow. When you’re uncomfortable this is a positive sign that you’re moving in the right direction. We know that nothing worth having comes easy. Often times that place of discomfort is where we gain the most confidence and endurance to keep going. If you don’t allow yourself to get out of your comfort zone or you quit as soon as it gets tough, you’ll find yourself in a place of stagnation.
8. You’re Overestimating What Can Be Done In a Year
And if you’ve read through and none of these points apply to you, it’s possible you are overestimating what can be done in a year. You’re putting the pressure on yourself to be at a certain place in life overnight and that’s not how success works. Life Coach Tony Robins said it best, “Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and they underestimate what they can do in two or three decades.” Consider that your journey is not a sprint, but a marathon. And you my friend need endurance and patience. Don’t be so hard on yourself and stop all the comparing, you’re on the right track.
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Originally published December 31, 2018