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As I mentioned in a previous post I’m not only using The Zeal Life as a platform to inspire others, but to be transperent and use it as my own personal diary of growth and failure. One place that I’ve always had trouble in was with relationships. I’m a chronic lover. While there is nothing wrong with love, it is important to guard your heart and be selective on who you share yourself with– something I’ve not always been successful at doing. Mostly because of my own self-doubt and insecurity, which consequently makes me question my own beauty and worth leading to the fear of being alone. This is the mindset of someone who doesn’t know or in my case often forgets who they are. For me it takes prayer, spending time alone and doing what I know I’m called to do to heal and transform my mindset.

One phrase we’ve all heard and may at some point have used is, I want someone that completes me, as if we are only half of a person and we need someone who is also only half of a person to come along and somehow make us a whole person. This is a big NO-NO! This romanticized- idolized perspective on a relationship is the reason for many broken hearts.

While I do believe that there is someone out there for everyone, I don’t know about you, but I want my special someone to be whole. He needs to knows who he is and what he wants out of life. Someone who is lost can enter a relationship with different issues such as jealousy, over-dependency, manipulation and control, addictions, deception etc. all issues that stem from low-self esteem. Just imagine two incomplete people coming together with a combination of these weaknesses, they are setting themselves up for disaster.

If you’re searching for a partner without even the pursuit of finding yourself, you’re not ready for a relationship.

Patience and time to get to know who you are and finding your purpose is the remedy to an incomplete soul and ultimately finding that other whole we all long for. While you won’t be perfect and will have the beautiful opportunity to grow in many ways together, if you’re searching for a partner without even the pursuit of finding yourself and understanding what that looks and feels like, you’re not ready for a relationship.

If you are already in a relationship, its important to reflect on its health ( is there too much jealousy, constant fighting, lying etc) and decide if you each still have growing to do. Because there is nothing more fulfilling than the completion that God can give you through finding who you are and discovering the amazing things you are destined to do.