Calling out toxic masculinity is not a war on masculinity itself, but standing up to the abusive structures that make the world more dangerous to navigate for all gender identities. In today’s
In my perspective feminine and masculine energy are innate to us all. Either or sometimes both energies begin to express itself as a child, and it is
This topic is nuanced and complex, patriarchy has been around for centuries, but I’ll do my best to breakdown
1. Victim Blaming
When a woman is sexually assaulted the questions often asked are: What was she wearing? Did she lead them on? Did she lie about her gender? I could go on and on. When we deflect the crime away from the perpetrator and imply the victim in some way invited the abuse, that is
The dialogue must shift to holding men accountable, rather than teaching women to behave and dress like “ladies.” Let us reinforce self-control of men and the understanding that women’s bodies do not belong to men.
2. Homophobia and Transphobia
Toxic Masculinity affects the LGBTQIA community in nuanced ways. Gay cisgender men and trans women are often the victims of toxic masculinity. Culture teaches men that being a man is being tough, playing sports, being dominant, not expressing sadness, etc. if a male does not express those interests or character traits they are labeled as “soft,” “weak,” etc (this does not mean that all gay men act the same or have the same traits, Or the child is gay if they express these traits, but stay with me for the purpose of this topic.). If a man is attracted to another man it is looked down upon. Historically in the context of sex, taking the receiving position was considered the lowest form of emasculation a man can attain– the position of a woman. It all connects back to the ideas of inferiority of women. A lot of people are not aware that feminist and LGBTQIA groups are fighting the same fight.
Trans women are victims of toxic masculinity as their murder rates are astounding. So far in the year of
3. Double Standards In Sexuality
We also see toxic masculinity presented in how men and women are allowed to express their sexuality. Men are praised for having multiple partners and women are shamed for it. The double standard
Women on the other hand women are shamed for having multiple partners. The dichotomy plays into the gender roles that we are raised
4. Double Standards In Dealing With Emotions
Women are taught its okay to cry (this is not always the black experience). We are often praised for vulnerability and culture has even coined the idea, women are emotional creatures. Emotions are not bad and we as women are not typically shamed for being emotional–it’s expected.
Men are told that crying, expressing sadness or frustration is a woman’s emotions, so it is weak.
If men can encourage more men to express emotion and not shame one another for it, more men will feel safe to share their
5. Gender Pay Gap
Women are paid 79
Toxic Masculinity is dangerous to all gender identities and plays a massive role in the issues and violence in today’s climate. Its time men do the work to deconstruct this abusive force.
Photo by Oladimeji Odunsi on Unsplash